Tired of Fighting

Sometimes I question why I have SSA. I want a precise answer sometimes.

I’m tired of fighting, of feeling all this pain.

Teach me to love myself

To break free from my past

I am your righteousness

I am loved

Even when I don’t feel it so

Even when I can’t see it

I will have faith, I believe in your promises

You’ll leave the 99, just for me

You chase me and gently speak to me

Loving and kind words

I’ve never been good enough

But you say that I am

I’m tired of all this pain

All these feelings sin has birthed

I question and doubt this life

Why do I have to feel this way?

If only my mommy would have loved me better?

Would I be chasing girls and longing for a soft touch?

If only daddy never left me and loved me all the way to the end?

This world offers a love with an expiration date, with circumstances, and conditions

I’ll never be good enough for someone to love me like that.