The Bench

As I was waiting for the train to arrive, I noticed the fall colors. The leaves falling down and blowing in the wind. I saw an empty bench and for some reason it made me feel nostalgic. For years I’d sit on a similar bench, in some town, some city and Reminisce about some lover. I remember Feeling pain because I knew our love could never be or because she didn’t want me in the way that I wanted her. I remember feeling distant from God and not knowing for sure if everything was going to be okay. Because I was being disobedient to His commands and I knew it but didn’t quite understand this struggle at hand. I hated myself because of it. I had no one to talk to and I lied to myself. I pretended that everything was okay, especially on the outside. Everything had to be okay, right?

Today, when I saw the bench for a split second I was reminded of all of this. There is always something about the cool weather that takes you back. But immediately after I remembered Jesus and I felt His nearness. I knew and was reminded in that moment that I could be sitting on any bench, anywhere in the world and my lover, my holy God would be there with me; holding my hand. I didn’t feel alone, I didn’t feel rejected. I felt love and peace. The narrative changed for the first time in a long time. I am no longer alone. I am not rejected but accepted in Jesus Christ. He loves me and calls me by name. I am His chosen, His beloved and like Him there is no other. There is no other Savior, no other God, no other God! Just Him and He chooses to sit with me on the bench. He’ll pick me up every single time. That sad moment, or the memory of sad bench moments had finally died. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus, my life now has meaning because of Him.