It can’t just be about us

You are so freakin beautiful! I guess when I see you, I think to myself she’s mine and I really can’t see it that way. I’m typing this up and also going to pray at the same time if that makes sense. We need to be healthy, it’s the only way we’ll be able to keep each other. I don’t want to do life without you, I don’t want to live my life and you not be a part of it. This girl situation is tricky and I feel like ours is that much more trickier. It’s so easy to believe we’ve done nothing wrong. Perhaps we are amazing daydreamers or creators of fantasy worlds. Really though, it is so easy to believe that this means nothing. That we are just close “friends”. At least for me anyway, it’s like I create this vision and lie to myself apparently. I wonder if you do the same?  Perhaps because we don’t want to marry each other or know that there really is no end game here except for friends. I just pray you are doing better Do you ever think about ministry? Because that is the only other thing aside from having this world’s version of success that makes me excited to live life. I’m following this ig account of this girl that travels the US in a van. I’m ngl I can sooo see myself doing that, but again it’s like what we always said. Whether single or married this life isnt going to be about us and what car we drive or how big our house is. There has got to be more meaningful ways to live! In fact, I know there is. We were created for a purpose and it’s our jobs to find out what that purpose is. I pray you find your “way” in this life. Otherwise it’s really just all depressing as hell. You can open the door to “sin” but it really would never satisfy you nor I.