“Coming out again” is how some people describe leaving the gay community and following Jesus.  It’s a tough time with lots of external pressures and I had a lot of questions over my identity.  After 30+ years of identifying as a lesbian, I had to learn who I really was.  I had a great counsellor who walked with me as I wrestled and wrangled with God, and this poem explains where I eventually landed.


My identity is not my sexuality.

My identity is not what happened to me.

My identity is not what could have been.

My identity is not “what if” or “if only.”

My identity is not honed in the lonely hours of darkness.


My identity is how God defines me, how God sees me.

My identity is freedom, a child of God’s Kingdom.

And that’s REALITY.


I have believed in his name.

He has taken my shame, given me the right to be called a child of his light.

I have been brought to fullness, blessed and loved.

Set apart since before time began and I’ve not come this far to forget who I am!


See what great love is lavished on me.

See how he thinks of me, how he looks at me.

Eyes shining with delight, songs of love sung over me.


I am not defined by the enemy, nor shaped by the time he owned me.

I am who God predestined me to be

And he alone has the right to define me.


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