Ashes to Beauty


I know that before I gave my life to Jesus I had a stronghold in my life that I hadn’t handed to him.  My sexuality was the overriding issue, a stronghold of the enemy that he was not wanting to give up without a fight. The simple question in a sermon, “Have you opened every door of your heart to Jesus” blew this wide open.  I now know the quote from A. W Tozer –

“You can’t truly rest until every area in your life rests in God”

How very true, it wasn’t until I handed that area to God and repented that I could even start to find the peace that I feel today.

How awesome to know that I have that rest and I am reminded of how special that is when I read this Psalm 27 verse 4



No rest

Mind in turmoil, like a coiled spring

Nothing going out and nothing coming in

Sin weighing heavy on my mind

Difficulty finding my way,

Not wanting to say to God that this sin was hard to give up

This was me, my identity, my sexuality

And I had difficulty recognising that I wasn’t born to be this way

I wasn’t born gay

I am a product of a fallen world, a sinful world where God’s laws have been hurled as far as eat from west

Man thinks that he knows best

He laughs, he scoffs, he pays the cost

I was lost but Jesus found me

I was heading down the path of sin and shame but Jesus never pointed the finger of blame,

His love for me incredibly gentle,

He understood the fragility of my mental state

He offered me escape

With Grace he forgave me

With strength he made me capable of turning my life around

I have found that promised rest and I ask one more thing of the Lord

That I will dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life

I praise him that I am alive and I can gaze on his beauty

Truly I know that I am blessed

What I once had was nothing less than the lies of the enemy who sought to keep me chained and bound

Yes I was lost but now I’m found

I live in freedom now.


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