5 years sober

Today is a big day in my journey. Today I am 5 years sober! There are a 100 reasons I can give as to why I dove deep into that bottle in the first place. But the number one reason I had to quit was for me. I use to think all I wanted to be was to be numb, to the world around me but mostly myself. But that wasn’t my reality and the pain was still there and I didn’t realize when I chose to drink my pain was magnified 100 times.

I don’t like who it turned me into or the situation that came about because I chose to drink. I needed to start loving myself more than I loved alcohol. It wasn’t easy at first because I hated myself. But, I loved my family. And because my family loved me, they weren’t going to give up on me. They held me up when I had nothing to give to myself. Each day was a challenge, but each day I rose up to that challenge and 24 hrs became 24 days to 3 years, until this very moment. I’ve had a lot of changes over these years. I’ve learned so much about who I am and who God wants me to be. I know that God brought me to this very moment. What does this moment mean? This moment means that today I am 5 years sober. This mean that for 1825 straight days I made a choice not to take that drink. This means that for 2,629,038 straight minutes I chose to believe that I am worth it.

My story doesn’t end here. I know that my God is a powerful God and is taking me on an incredible journey that started 5 years ago at this very moment.